Tyler McClelland

Wedding Season: This June Will Be a Gay Affair

June is almost always a month for celebrations. But I have to admit I’m a little biased, though, since June is the same month on which my birthday is boldly circled on the calendar in the kitchen. My annual lust for confetti cake aside, however, June is marked by another glamorous event: Gay Pride Month.

This year will not just be another reason to throw on your stiletto heels, gold sequin ball gown and three-foot-tall feathered headdress--although that is certainly something to celebrate. (And if you ask me, no celebration is truly complete without a six-foot-tall drag queen in full regalia.) Pride-goers and even the rest of us should have a little more pep in our steps because of the recent directive issued by Gov. Paterson recognizing out-of-state same-sex unions here in New York. The announcement, following closely on the sparkle-chiffon coattails of the California Supreme Court’s recent decision legalizing same-sex marriages, will allow same-sex New York couples to get hitched if they go bi(coastal.)

For those of us living in this economy, though, a short trip from New York to our frosty neighbor to the north will get the trick done just fine, and unlike Massachusetts, Canada doesn’t require your home state to recognize same-sex unions. Thank you, Canada for this and your ubiquitous bacon (but let’s just keep things clear, we know it's ham.) If you’re a same-sex couple who has already exchanged vows, been hoisted on chairs, and thrown bouquets, then you can expect to gain access to more than 1,300 new rights, benefits and responsibilities currently reserved for your different-sex couple counterparts. This is an important and powerful first step toward granting true equal rights to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and gender queer couples in New York. Now is the time to take that final leap, and legalize same-sex marriages in our own state. Besides, why should New York miss out on a lucrative boost to its weddings industry? June is one of the most popular months for weddings, perhaps made more sweet now that this month is when California will begin granting marriage licenses and New York will begin conforming its marriage statutes to the governor’s directive. But all that money for florists, tuxedos and dresses, frantic wedding consultants screaming into Madonna-style microphones on their heads--all that money is going to Canada and California. Gov. Schwarzenegger certainly hopes this is the case and according to the Los Angeles Times, a UCLA study claims that legalization of gay marriages will put $370-million dollars into California’s economy over the next three years. What are we waiting for, New York?

I think now is a good time to admit that I definitely have a horse in this race. I’ve been engaged to someone I cannot legally marry for nearly a year and a half. For me, the issue is not whether or not I can have a lavish party and a big cake, but the rights and preference the state gives to different-sex couples that I cannot enjoy. My relationship is not going to be any more meaningful because I have a piece of paper recognizing it by the state--it cannot sanction love or devotion and what those things mean to any couple who would get married. But because the state gives special privileges and rights to couples who choose to marry, every couple--no matter their gender or what you call their union--should be afforded the same rights. In doing so, we strengthen and reaffirm those rights for everyone who is married, not just those in same-sex relationships. Greater inclusiveness will actually strengthen marriage as an institution itself (some may disagree that this is a good thing.) “Family” groups who oppose same-sex marriages because they do not conform to their idea of “sanctity” seem unconcerned with a re-born and coiffed Elvis uniting two people in Vegas-style holy matrimony--as long as the two people are “one man and one woman.” And while I’m confident there are many happy marriages that have begun to a live impersonated performance of “Blue Suede Shoes,” there are just as many that can never be because the couple is same-sex. So, during this Pride and wedding season, let’s not just rest on the laurels of victory, let’s strap on our three-inch heels, cake on our M.A.C. cosmetics and demand the next step for New York: full marriage and civil rights equality for all.

Important Update!
June 4, 2008 13:59

This just in...

Governor Paterson's office is taking phone calls in order for New Yorkers to express their opinion on gay marriage! Just call 1-518-474-8390, tell them you want to express your opinion on gay marriage, express it, then give them your New York zip code and you're done! Happy calling...

Tyler McClelland: Author Bio | Other Posts
Posted at 5:01 PM, Jun 02, 2008 in Civil Rights
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